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One of the most powerful tools for enabling healthy conflict is utilising enquiry-based questions. Most people, when engaging in conflict will simply advocate their own position. This leads to a ‘tennis match’ of views going backwards and forwards as each tries to convince the other of the rightness of their argument. Listen out for phrases like “I hear you, but” or “yes, I understand that, but” (remember “but” always negates what’s gone before). This usually results in more entrenched positions and does not promote understanding of the other person’s perspective. Enquiry-based questions flip this on its head by asking someone we profoundly disagree with to explain more about the view they hold, and seeking to understand the other person’s perspective, creating an atmosphere of listening. Keep asking questions such as “tell me more about that” or “help me understand why that’s important to you” until you are able to explain their position to them as well as they can explain it themselves. This powerful empathic exercise will reassure them that their viewpoint has been heard and will mean that they will be more likely to be ready to listen to your perspective as well.